Gathering 2004 report

Report from Korean Adoptee Gathering 2004, Seoul Korea By Tim Holm The International Gathering of Korean Adoptees took place this summer from August 4 to 8, 2004 in Seoul, Korea, at the Sofitel Ambassador Hotel, after more than two and a half years of planning. More than 400 participants attended the opening of The Gathering, where they were joined by 125 guests and media representatives from around the world. They were greeted by congratulatory words of encouragement from the Planning Committee and numerous dignitaries, flanked by flags from the 15 countries represented by the attendees. “This Gathering is historic. It is the first time that an adoptee conference of this scale has been held in Korea, and even more important, it has been planned and organized entirely by adoptees for adoptees” was part of the welcome remarks by the Planning Committee, as read by Liselotte Birkmose. While other adoptee conferences have met in Korea prior to The Gathering, the number of Korean adoptees in attendance, and the home countries they represent, is unmatched.
Dr. Lee, Kwang-kyu, President of the Overseas Koreans Foundation (OKF), read a congratulatory address from the First Lady of Korea, Kwon, Yang-sook, who said “It hurts my heart to think about you having to be sent away to so many distant places as children”, but she added, “you have managed to overcome a myriad of challenges and rise to become proud citizens of your adopted countries.” Welfare Minister Kim, Guen-tae started his address by saying “The closer this time came to meet you, the more confused I felt in not knowing what to say. I was afraid that you might not welcome me. I can only guess the pain and suffering that you had to go through. But on behalf of my country, I have to tell you that I love you.” The adoptees in attendance warmly welcomed all of the dignitaries with thunderous applause, cheers and tears of joy.
The opening session ended with a video documenting the historical effects of the Korean War, with the outcome initiating international adoption from Korea, 50 years ago. It also showed the community of Korean adoptees, beginning with Motherland tours, culture camps, the birth of adoptee organizations, and culminating with the Korean Adoptee Gatherings, first in Washington, DC in 1999 and then in Oslo, Norway in 2001. The video also showed the growth of adoptees, with pictures of children fading into pictures of them as adults, symbolizing the maturity of the international Korean adoptee community. “Community”, “friendship”, “connections”, “unity”, “camaraderie” and “acceptance” were all pointed out as reasons why this Gathering is important to adoptees from around the world.
“The event was a huge success and more importantly, it provided a venue for adoptees to reflect on the past and create some new memories and friendships” said Steve Stirling, an adoptee from Washington, and which was a sentiment echoed by numerous adoptees in attendance. Dutch adoptee Don Roelofs said “When I was young, Korea had nothing to do with me. But now everything has changed, and Korea has meaning for me.” Pascal Salon, a Korean adoptee from France, chimed in “whatever our homeland thinks about us, we love Korea.” The primary goal of The Gathering, according to Tim Holm of the Planning Committee, is to “provide a chance for adoptees to share their experiences, because of the differences between growing up in the US versus growing up in Europe, and to engage in cultural exchanges and establish networks between adoptees and adoptee organizations.” Todd Kwapisz, also of the Planning Committee, adds “The Gathering wants to promote a positive sense of identity for ourselves and to the Korean community and government.”
Participants later broke out into five adoptee-only age groups, along with a group specifically for spouses and partners. The make-up of the groups mirrored their responses to questions used to initiate discussion. Almost half of the attendees in the oldest group were multi-ethnic, while there were only two or three in the other four groups combined. The oldest group also had only one European adoptee, and all of the adoptees with physical disabilities that were in attendance were also in that group. In the fourth and fifth groups, representing the younger attendees between 18 and 29 years of age, the split of adoptees from the US versus the rest of the world was virtually half and half.
While the older groups were more concerned about family issues, raising multi-ethnic and mixed race children, the lack of medical information, etc, the younger groups were more interested in affecting change in the adoption process, access to records and making birth search easier, living and working in Korea, and racial identity. While adoptees in the US may see other Asians where they live and wonder what nationality they might be, or may not even be interested at all because they see so many Asians in diverse communities, when most of the adoptees in Europe and other countries see another Asian person, they immediately know that that person has to be a Korean adoptee. The Gathering helped to show that while we all start in the same place, and while our experiences growing up may be similar in many respects, our perspectives are very different.
Additional sessions for adoptees-only focused on racism and racial identity, birth search and reunion (including video screenings), and living and working in Korea. Adoptees with differing backgrounds and experiences were chosen to participate on these panels, so that those attending would have a chance to hear both positive and negative sides of these issues. This also gave adoptees a chance to ask questions of others who have gone through experiences similar to their own. For instance, not everyone wants to conduct a birth search, even though many think that all adoptees do. For those that go through this process, not everyone finds anyone. And even if you do locate someone, how do you know if they really are part of your birth family? DNA testing helps in identification, but what helps the emotional psyche? And not all experiences are positive ones. The Gathering sessions wanted to show that even though many have similar experiences, everyone is unique. Just because one person feels a certain way, or has done something that others would like to do, it doesn’t mean that all will have the same results. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another.
The Gathering also provided sessions that were open to spouses, guests and attendees, including a traditional Korean tea ceremony and calligraphy, performed by monks from the Cheontae Order. Many adoptees and spouses also participated in the open microphone forum, which gave an opportunity for live performances and discussion. More than a dozen adoptee artists also displayed their artistic works at the hotel during the duration of The Gathering, and were included in a beautiful 26-page book showcasing the artists and their work.
The Gathering also provided sessions that were open to spouses, guests and attendees, including a traditional Korean tea ceremony and calligraphy, performed by monks from the Cheontae Order. Many adoptees and spouses also participated in the open microphone forum, which gave an opportunity for live performances and discussion. More than a dozen adoptee artists also displayed their artistic works at the hotel during the duration of The Gathering, and were included in a beautiful 26-page book showcasing the artists and their work.
The logistics of organizing a conference for 400 persons, to take place in one part of the world while much of the planning and promotion have taken place in other parts of the world, was an undertaking that would not have been possible without substantial help from numerous organizations. The Overseas Koreans Foundation (OKF), located in Seoul, provided the primary funding to help make The Gathering a reality. Jeannie Hong, OKF’s manager of International Exchange, was the liaison between the Planning Committee and the various officials in Korea. Other major sponsors for The Gathering were Samsung, Korea National Tourism Organization (KNTO), Kwanmunsa Temple and the Cheontae Order, the Ministry of Health & Welfare, International Korean Adoptee Services (InKAS), the Venerable Mother Park, Chung-soo, Korean Airlines, and YWCA of Seoul. Special mention goes out to the Sofitel Ambassador Hotel, who provided a sumptuous banquet for all of the adoptees, spouses, guests and other participants throughout The Gathering. The Sofitel also welcomed the participants with a large banner on the outside of the Hotel that was readily visible to all who came to the Hotel. The Sofitel has been hosting adoptee travel groups through Asian Adult Adoptees of Washington for 12 years and understands the importance of traveling to Korea for adoptees.
The larger sponsors provided special events for The Gathering. Thursday night involved busing to the Kwanmunsa Temple for a dinner and performance sponsored by the Cheontae Order that included traditional dance, taekwondo, Samulnori and drumming. InKAS sponsored many of the lunches and breakfasts. Friday evening was sponsored by the Korea National Tourism Organization (KNTO) and included dinner and a promotional video that showed the beauty and culture of Korea. Saturday night’s gala dinner at the Shilla Hotel, sponsored by Samsung, was a fitting end to a wonderful, emotional Gathering. Dressed in their hanboks and suits, the participants enjoyed dinner and a performance that was pure spectacle. The mask dance, farmer’s dance, fan dance and drums always draw a loud applause. But then add three different types of drum performances, a chamber orchestra, traditional instruments, the Korea National Taekwondo demonstration team, and a children’s choir, all on stage and being shown on a big-screen…well, you get the idea. A great ending to a great Gathering.
The four primary agencies in Korea that have sent children to families overseas collaborated on an information booth at the Sofitel and sponsored the closing session’s brunch. The agencies also assisted with numerous inquiries by the adoptees to see their adoption records, and in some cases even initiated some birth search. As expected, there were Korean family members who came to the Sofitel during The Gathering who have had children placed for overseas adoption, and the agencies assisted in counseling them. The Gathering was not intended to be a forum for birth search, but whenever a large group of adoptees come together, and especially in such close proximity to their birthplace, it is reasonable to expect that many will want to take the opportunity to see if they may have some information that could lead them to this end. With almost half of the attendees traveling to Korea for the first time, this became an opportunity that many did not want to pass up. Some even participated on a television show broadcast on KBS-TV that attempts to reunite separated families, and there were a few successful searches. The Planning Committee and the counselors assisting the adoptees with this endeavor hope that the adoptees that have been successful see this as the beginning to a process that will have to evolve over time, and not as just a moment in time.
The 400 participants were comprised of 355 adoptees between the age of 18 and 55, along with 50 spouses and partners. 70 adoptees came from Denmark, representing the single largest group at The Gathering. 55 were in attendance from Asian Adult Adoptees of Washington (AAAW), as the second largest group. It was no surprise that the Presidents of these two organizations were co-chairs of the Planning Committee - Liselotte Birkmose from The Korea Club of Denmark and Tim Holm of AAAW. Additional members of the Planning Committee were Joy Lieberthal-Rho, President of Also Known As, Inc. of New York, and Todd Kwapisz and Susan Cox, founders of the First Gathering, held in 1999 in Washington, DC. In addition to the 70 adoptees from Denmark, other adoptees came from the US (173 persons from 30 states), Australia (3), Belgium (12), Canada (3), France (9), Germany (1), Korea (22), Luxembourg (1), Norway (20), Sweden (18), Switzerland (3), Thailand (1), The Netherlands (18), and United Kingdom (1). So…what happens next? “The intensity of the Gathering experience – being 400 people from all over the world gathering in our country of birth, sharing stories and emotions – was uncomparable” stated Danish adoptee Liselotte Birkmose. All three gatherings have had a major impact on the international network of Korean adoptees. Leadership meetings have been held in Holland, Denmark, Belgium, Portland, Oregon, Minneapolis, Denver, and at The Gathering in Korea. More are scheduled for October 2004 and May 2005. The associations in Europe, along with some of the members of the Planning Committee, have formed the informal network IKAA, International Korean Adoptee Associations. The associations in the US will add their information to the IKAA network in the coming months. This website, www.ikaa.info should become the main web portal to Korean adoptee associations worldwide. Ms. Birkmose adds “The big challenge is to keep the network alive and in progress and also to make sure it reflects the diversity of our community.”
Another chapter has ended. But being a part of something that is bigger than ourselves is exciting. We will just have to see who steps forward to lead this diverse group, and to see what the future holds for our community. Article first published in Korean Quarterly Magazine
Visit official site of: 1999 Gathering (Washington, D.C.) 2001 Gathering (Oslo)